More Tom Leher

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The Vatican Rag

This is funnier, and not as anti-Catholic as it might seem, if you put in context during the Second Vatican Council. It was all big news at the time. Liturgy and many traditional doctrines were being questioned, and that left an opening for brilliant satire.

I first heard this about 1965 when the vinyl LP record was played for me by a friend, the son of a very liberal Congregational church minister.

About one and a half.

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.

If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya!

Tom Lehrer at DJB.