Happy birthday, everything

The Eagle Nebula

As is well known, the Irish primate James Ussher worked out that the unverse was created in the evening of Sunday, October 22, 4004 BCE.

We read that on that day was created the earth, then light. the next day came the firmament which divided the water above from the waters below. On Wednesday the 23d came dry land. and plants. Next day saw day and night, and the sun stars and moon. Friday saw fish, birds, all creeping things, and people. The next day god slept in because the liquor stores didn't open until noon (Genesis 1:1 to 2:3).

Or, well, maybe it went earth and heaven, then plants, then water (Wednesday?), then a man, plants, Eden and the world's three rivers, animals, a woman (Genesis 2:4 to 2:25). Whatever.

According to Gallup, fourty-five percent of Americans believe that the earth is less than 10,000 years old. Happy 6009th, world!

Better hurry up, though. Thirty-seven percent of good christians believe that it will all end soon.