Ogden Nash's birthday
Reflections on Ice-Breaking
Candy is dandy;The Fly
But liquor is quicker
The Lord in His wisdom made the flyThe Centipede
And then forgot to tell us why.
I objurgate the centipede,The Purist
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he's not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
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